I did NOT just... Neon blue edition!!

I did NOT stick a huge bottle of fabric softener (think Sam's Club, laundry-for-a-village here) in my trunk during the moving process, and then deliberately leave it there for several days. Sometime after that, I did NOT think to myself as I was driving down the road, "Hey somebody's doing laundry in this neighborhood, and they use the same fabric softener as --" before pulling over so quick that anyone watching would probably have thought I had found a snake in the passenger seat. I did NOT find this waiting for me:
My car DOES smell mysteriously fresh and clean lately though...

I DID stick a variety of small odds and ends into my brand-new trashcan as a handy-dandy method of conveying them all into my apartment... but I did NOT spend the next week wondering where on earth my makeup bag had gotten to. It did NOT spend that time nestled neatly under the garbage bag inside the trashcan. If my makeup bag needs deodorizing, I can always just stick it in my trunk for a while...

I did NOT buy a box of Nutty Buddies and then proceed to develop a pack-a-day habit. I am NOT worried about going into withdrawals once they're gone. I really need to try to train myself so that when I see them in the store I don't think, "Oooh peanut butter and chocolate deliciousness, nom nom!" but rather think, "Oh look, I could buy that extra four pounds I've always wanted..."

I did NOT spill red hair dye on the floor and then fail to clean it up sufficiently... and people visiting my bathroom now would NOT suspect that someone had been stabbed there while brushing his teeth. Yes, my apartment is quite a dangerous place. Exercise caution.

I did NOT leave the top drawer of my "craft dresser" open briefly one evening, oblivious to the danger it presented... My cats did NOT then proceed to use it as some kind of trampoline while I was busy in the other room. They did NOT knock the whole dang dresser over, and did NOT break my treasured porcelain bank into about twenty pieces. I did NOT cry like a baby when I rushed from the other room and discovered it. (It belonged to my mother when she was little and then sat on my dresser from toddler-hood on, so the format of this last one is just pure denial folks...)

I did NOT trip over a curb and totally wipe out in front of Walgreens as I was turning to say goodbye to some friends I had run into... My first thought was NOT "Oh no, I hope I didn't break my new shampoo!" My second thought was NOT "Hey, this will make good blog fodder..." But my third thought WAS "Ouch." The resulting bruise covers the majority of my knee, and is a spectacular combination of three or four quite vivid colors.

It HAS been a rather exhausting week and a half. The solution? Coffee and beer. Oops, did I just say that out loud?? Cheers! Here's to another Monday, and another week. ;)

This post is part of Not ME Monday, over at My Charming Kids. Check it out, and join the (rueful) fun!


  1. Oh my goodness!! What a crazy mess. You're right, at least it smells good! :)

  2. I am in awe just reading that someone else does the same crazy things I do and then tells everyone about it. At least it seems you are warning us to maybe pay more attention to what we are doing at the time and take heed to make sure you bring stuff in from the trunk, close dresser drawers, not eat all the goodies, that you just had to have, I hope the rest of your week is much safer. Thanks for sharing with us

  3. Oh. My. Gosh. The luck you have had!

  4. Oh, my. What a week you've had. If it makes you feel better, I fell down the steps and have a lovely shade of eggplant on my arm now.
    Maybe a little puce.


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